No one has played around with gender quite like Chris Crocker.The Tennesseean 28-year-old first exposed himself to the world through his provocative Youtube videos dating back to 2006.
Although he is keen to share every step of his gender journey, Crocker's openness has been faced with harsh pushback.He's a true testament that what we see on the outside is not always what's happening on the inside.How about we start by defining what gender means to you?Gender is how you see yourself on the inside, in your mind's eye. Even being sure that I'm female on the inside, there are still so many umbrellas for you to fall under in the gender spectrum. When I started dressing like a guy aesthetically, I wanted to live that way for a little while to see if I felt comfortable.I don't think everyone identifies as just male and female. I had to live aesthetically as the opposite of what I knew myself to be just to see if i would feel comfortable that way. I was like a false advertisement because I would attract gay guys interested in the masculine aesthetic but when they started dating me they realized it was just like dating a chic.
A friend once told me I was rebelling against my rebellion. I think she was saying you have to be a little bit rebellious to be your true self, especially in the South where everyday there's 50 different reasons to be depressed.I started to rebel against my rebellion that let me be myself.I lost my grit and got tired of carrying around that armor.Yeah, it makes me happy to have my nails done and have long hair, but I always had to have on this bitch face.Even though it made me happy to look this way, I was so sick of being on the defense.I just wanted to breathe, and the only want I could breathe living here was to look like everyone else.