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: Each He Said-She Said column features a question from a reader with responses from a male and female point of view.If you've got a question about anything related to singleness or living the single life, please : My fiancé has been attending a skid-row mission for the last twelve years.

I have attended this church myself and have been a leader as well.

I feel that it is totally and completely inappropriate for the senior pastor, who is a married man, to call my fiancée on a daily basis.

They see each other every Wednesday and every Sunday at church.

He claims that he is concerned about her plus the fact that she is third in the hierarchy of command that he can call her every day.

I see the senior pastor as someone who is a lord or king of his church and that everyone must bow to him.

This is more than submitting to him as a parishioner to a pastor.

HE SAID: I understand your concern and can empathize with the reason for your uneasiness toward the growing relationship between your fiancé and her senior pastor.

In most mishaps, accidents or failings, there is rarely only one specific aspect of a situation that goes astray, but rather a series of missteps, lapses in judgment or oversights that cause ultimate demise.

This can be seen in everything from airline disasters to financial scandals to relationships.

Oftentimes, those closest to the circumstances are the last to recognize any signals which may seem obvious to those around them.

In this case, you have identified a couple of warning signs that are cause for concern.