Want Italian for dinner when your spouse wants Chinese? Just remember to speak your mind pleasantly and tactfully.
Negativity breaks down the trust you have for your partner to be a loving and supportive haven from the world’s challenges. This doesn’t mean that you can’t get frustrated or upset at something your spouse has done.Simply tell him or her about your feelings using, calm, neutral language. I feel …” instead of inviting defensiveness with you-statements.Also explain to your spouse how much it hurts when he or she uses negativity towards you. Loss of non-sexual intimacy Since physical intimacy depends on feeling comfortable with your partner, physical affection is one of the first victims of rampant negativity in a marriage.You’ve heard of cheating and fighting leading to divorce, but what about selflessness and lack of hugs?Behaviors such as cheating and fighting are the manifestation of deeper behavior patterns that undermine marriages.
These three common marriage mistakes are at the root of what make many unions fizzle: 1.Altruism Altruism, also known as selflessness or even self-sacrifice, sounds like a good thing in a relationship.It’s comforting to know that your partner would do anything to protect or help you, and you would do the same for him or her.Unfortunately, outside of the occasional emergency situation, altruism is a damaging habit.The happiest and most enjoyable marriages are ones in which both spouses feel that their concerns, desires and needs are met and valued.You and your spouse should feel that each of you has power and significance in the marriage. Over time, constantly suppressing your desires and needs for those of your spouse can lead to a disorder of power in the relationship, which, even if voluntary, can lead to depression and resentment. Make your preferences and needs known to your spouse, even if you think the matter isn’t a big deal.