So, basically, there’s a reason the anti-establishment chick in this episode is named after me.
Goth Girl, who is wearing a sparkly red bra through a sheer, midriff-baring shirt that I’m pretty sure no high school in America would allow, asks what Smallville’s deluded hicks do for fun, and Lana, predictably, suggests the Talon. In a huge room with the lights off, some kid sits in a tub of water (??? “Don’t worry, Lana, I haven’t taken my eye off you all day,” he replies.
Goth Girl is even less impressed than Chloe was with the rings. Gibbons’” office, Clark informs him that Jessie looks hot and the dress code sucks. Rebecca: I feel like it’s not actually that out of character for Clark to be kind of a dick to authority figures. ); a middle-aged guy in a suit holds up a prom picture of Jessie and Bathtub Boy. I like that the writers think that “bad boys” talk like middle-aged creepers. Rebecca: Wait but like what if they CGI’d Welling into Happy Days like they did with the “Buddy Holly” video??
As they approach the ring-selling table, Goth Girl perks up at the sight of “the major hottie in primary colors.” GG suggests maybe he could show her around instead, looking at him like she wants to eat him alive. The ruby on it glows, and his veins briefly turn red and then fade back to normal. He gets a weird, satisfied expression on his face as his eyes also briefly glow red, and Pete asks if he’s okay. ) tells Goth Girl, or “Jessie,” that sure enough, her outfit is not dress code approved. Lana and Pete stare as Clark points out that it’s only Jessie’s first day; “Besides, I don’t think you should be the one giving fashion tips.” Somehow that works; Gibbons leaves, and Lana takes Jessie to finish the tour. Bathtub boy insists that he doesn’t know where Jessie is, and the man tells “Kyle” (haven’t we already had a Kyle? Marshal, the USM pulls a gun on him, and Kyle admits that he’s gotten collect calls from her, all over Kansas. Jess: He continues to sleaze on her as they all agree to study together at the Talon that night, and Lana and Pete laugh bemusedly. Jonathan’s working on a motorcycle, and Martha tells him as soon as it’s shiny, she gets the first ride.
Rebecca: “Who’s the major hottie in primary colors? ) that Jessie and her father are fugitives and he needs to bring them in. The USM drops a plugged-in clock radio into the tub to prevent Kyle from warning Jessie. “All the others can just take a number,” he assures her. They’re wondering where Clark is when he zips in at super speed.
Jonathan asks why he wasn’t there earlier to help with the garage door, and Clark breezily says it’ll only take two seconds.
He admires his ring, and Jonathan testily says he thought they agreed Clark wasn’t going to buy it.
“I thought we agreed it was my decision to make,” Clark replies. “Pete and Chloe are waiting for us,” she says, and walks away uncomfortably. Inside, he straddles a chair backwards, and when Pete asks where his books are, says, “You guys wanna go to the bar?
Jonathan says the ring cost a lot of money, and Clark snits that he’s “tired of worrying about every nickel and dime around here.” Martha, playing peacekeeper, suggests Clark go wash up for dinner and he snaps that he’s not hungry, “and besides, I have chores to do.” Then he super speeds off. ” Everyone boggles and Chloe says they need to study.
Martha suggests he’s going through typical teenage rebellion, and Jonathan says he prefered the heat vision. Clark offers to treat, and this dialogue happens: It hurts right here, Rebecca.
She stands by Clark’s decision to throw his own money away on the ring: “I seem to recall a certain young man who defied his father to spend 0 on an old motorcycle.” THEY’RE THE CUTEST. Lex follows the sound of clamor to his office, which is full of people moving stuff around and a bunch of different furniture. Rebecca: NO HUMANS HAVE EVER SPOKEN LIKE THIS IN HUMAN HISTORY!
Rebecca: Oh my god, I would literally watch infinite hours of the Kents being cute. Lionel says he was sure Lex wouldn’t mind, since he’ll be staying for a while. THIS WAS PROBABLY DIRECTLY DETRIMENTAL TO MY DEVELOPING BRAIN!!!!!! Writers, you are foul misogynists, and you clearly don’t have a hell of a lot of respect for your fellow dudes, either. Also, wasn’t he asking if Clark ever peeked, like, last episode?