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The point about "African people worldwide" is a tip off.

They go to bed with someone who does, or doesn't, think it's a bad idea to blow the rent-check on school clothes.They go to bed with someone who does, or doesn't, think it's a priority to keep the living room clean.They go to be bed with someone who does, or doesn't, want children.My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy.He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman.

I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress. Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me.Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit...wince. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded.We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love.My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.