Fast forward about a decade, when I moved to Baltimore and met Jason, a scientist and ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine.
Jason is a member of a polyamorous unit comprised of four men - all attractive, all accomplished, and all very approachable.
After that, there's a great deal of flexibility in how polyamory can be defined, independent of the sexual component, which many people seem to get too hung up on. It's one of the reasons why I'm reluctant to publish this article. Contrary to what we're told or what we're led to believe, love is not finite.
In the fight for marriage equality, the last thing I want to do is fuel the flames of the far right, who'll claim you'll all want to get married - first to each other, then to your dogs. People think that you can only love one person, which makes no sense to me - it's not only illogical, but it completely goes against the core of my being. If there was a car accident and somebody was put in the hospital, none of us would, in theory, be able to actually see one another right away; we're similar to a non-married straight couple in that regard.
Jason: Polygamy focuses on an institution of marriage, however it's defined. There are some measures we could put into place for extreme cases...
The first polyamorous 'unit' I met was over 10 years ago.
It consisted of a primary couple, in which each partner had a secondary boyfriend.
I met three of the four of the unit in Fire Island, although they were all based in the DC-metro area, where, in the gay community at least, there seems to be a growing number of unique arrangements involving more than two partners. For example, the primaries could have sex with each other or with their respective secondaries, but the secondaries could not have sex with each other or with their non-primary.And if one of the primaries was home, then his secondary could sleep in bed with him.But if both primaries were home, then it was sofa city for the secondaries!I recall sitting at dinner with three-fourths of the unit and with five or six of my close friends; I was so fascinated, I had to ask how it all worked.But when I did, I was shot down immediately, not just by the unit, but also by all of my friends - as if I had broken an unspoken but obvious rule that any discussion about their relationship was off limits and inappropriate.Predictably, because I was henceforth not permitted to ask any more questions, lest I break another "rule," I only grew more curious.