” you are angry that we haven’t taken charge of the situation.
She told him, “I really wish you didn’t play in this band,” and because he loved her, he quit. And somewhere along the way it might seem that you love us just as we are, but rarely does it work out that way. They see rough edges, and they want to sand them off. The knowledge that you are thinking, “If he could only...” is a deeply disturbing thought, and perhaps more sinister is the idea that this behavior is so common that even if you aren’t the kind of woman who wants change, we expect that you do and are only biding your time. I have a buddy that has plans to attend a Nicholas Sparks book signing so he can tell the man to KNOCK IT OFF!
Within a few months this woman was confiding to her friends, “I’m a little less attracted to him because he quit the band, and just did what I asked. Most women know at an intellectual level that their man isn’t going to be like George Clooney, or Brad Pitt or that Italian guy from 'Under the Tuscan Sun', but in their heart they want it.
Now, he just hangs out at home.” It’s a specific example, but a common problem. They’ve been fed a fantasy about romance and passion for so long that when a REAL act of love comes down the pike, he notices that the tread on your tires is low and buys a new set, it hardly even registers. A 34-year-old single woman who wants to have children has to think about the future.
No matter how many women write in to say, ‘I don’t do this! You think we like guessing whether we’re wasting our time? Many a man has gotten into a relationship only to have the woman complain about the time he spends playing golf. Of course, if she loves him she should know that he NEEDS this time on the golf course. Why does she get involved with a man who has a hobby she doesn’t like?
’ the fact is many, many, many women practice the behavior that follows. This game where you pretend you don’t care and secretly hope we chase you down is for teenagers. See ”You see us as projects you can fix.” I could write a novel on this one.
Men have complained about these problems in various male-oriented forums before, but here, now, I drag their 10 biggest complaints into the daylight so that everyone can finally see how women make complainers out of men. We only need look at the example of going dutch on a first date. ” and we say, “Nothing.” You figure this must be a lie, and decide that we aren’t willing to communicate with you. Say a man likes to play golf and has played for years. Without it he will burn up with anxiety and frustration over life’s little indignities. You don’t need to ask what we’re thinking, just watch what we’re doing. This often expresses itself with regard to hobbies. That’s the surest sign that something needs to be discussed. Not calling you back even though we said, “I love you? You can save the questions about musings until you see a change in our behavior.You offer to split the check, and if we let you, you hold it against us. You demand, quite rightly, to be in on all important relationship decisions, yet when we take you out and ask, “What would you like to do tonight?