After ten minutes of contemplating if this is the Universe's way of telling me that I‘m not compatible with any men (Mum's been saying it for years), I realign my social-media gender.
Oh, the immediate gratification of having eight suitors when I woke up this morning!
Didn't reply to any, but it's nice to know they're out there. This is London, it's normal to have never met my neighbours, but is it normal that I might be dating them online?
Tinder totally complements my lazy and attention-seeking personality. It usually takes me a few drinks to start talking to strangers but, thanks to my i Phone, I'm now virtu-flirting while I wee.
As a trailblazer of casual sex and being skint, I am allegedly the prime example of the demographic that is turning to the Tinder i Phone app.
If you believe the hype, a growing number of people like me are getting repetitive strain injury from swiping 'yes' to intimate invitations from relative strangers.
Tinder uses your existing social networking data from Facebook to locate people in the immediate vicinity, tell you a bit about them, whether you have any friends in common and (most importantly) show you a pic.
It has slimmed down the emotional, cognitive and financial investment required by the virtual dating process to one simple question: “Do I want to do you?
” What more modern way to make that most basic binary decision of whether you want to shag someone than a game of real-world "Hot or Not"?
Social media has made us expert first-daters, well-versed in smalltalk and over-sharing with strangers.
The quick follow-though from swipe to sex is similarly instinctive for a generation with an appetite for immediacy.
Monday Turns out I've been signed up to Facebook as male, so Tinder is only matching me with women.